Men gain their independence by separating from their mother. All rituals of manhood have a kind of brutality, and you can't go running to your mother. Women are lucky, in my opinion, in that they can develop independence in relation with their mother.
Because of this, men block off their tender feelings to be courageous, so they can enter into the world independent. Nowadays, the independence of men, in modern society is a kind of obsolete mindset. Unfortunately, there are lots of manhood traps. The women at my work say that they like working with men, because there is less drama. Women's agression is often relational, because of the womanhood trap that you can't be openly angry, you must always be nurturing.
There are generalizations on gender from the United States of America. I've mostly been in the midwest and east coast, but I also visit New Mexico as well. The south tends to be more traditional, but I think the biggest differences in America are city versus rural. Traditional versus progressive is another factor. I have developed these generalizations as a teacher, social worker and psychotherapist for the past 25 years.
Then we come to the case of crying. I read a book on crying when I was a therapist, because I found myself going for the cry in sessions. When ever I cried along with the client it either built rapport or I was judged for not being manly.
My experience of crying is that it's a release. I feel better after it. I know people who feel like they have lost control by crying. They were perhaps criers as a child, and the family trained them away from that. What ever the case, I understand that crying can have many many meanings. I often feel like crying when I'm appreciated. I can cry when something is very meaningful.
Some people have commented in the forum that crying isn't really what a manly hero would do. Well, you can speculate what I think about that from the above.
Here is the
video of the "screenside chat" that took place last Friday.
